What 8 years of Working With Women has taught me.
I am an educator, as my bio tells. Although you would find many men in my profession, yet at the school level, teaching has been a female-dominated profession. So, you would find 90 percent of female educators in a school. Or so in my workplace. I have worked here for close to 7 years. And I have met and worked with many of them. Young and old, fast and slow, energetic and lazy, strong-headed and gullible, aspiring and unambitious, leaders and followers. I am sure all groups have varied kinds of people, which makes it a cohesive group. There are many kinds of people in this world. And there are many kinds of women too. If you are fortunate enough then you will find like-minded, motivated, and inspirational women. If not, then you can be doomed.
They Can Be Extremely Bossy
Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, had said “I want every little girl who’s told she’s bossy to be told instead that she has leadership skills.” This fills me with immense pride as a girl. But, I have seen women co-workers being so bossy to the extent of annoyance. How can being bossy be associated with leadership skills? We have had some really successful leaders who were assertive but at the same time, they have been wonderful and understanding human beings.
“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey, mentions one very important habit- ‘Seek first to understand and then to be understood. However, I have worked with women, who become tyrants in the name of becoming bossy. Does being a leader only mean others to follow your orders religiously? I know I will draw wrath from many of my counterparts who will read this. But I do agree that women do not always have to boss around. It is rather annoying, much less impelling.
Office Office, Gossip Gossip
Gossip, grapevine, and bullying come hand in hand. Yes, women bully too. And they can sometimes become the most insensitive of them all. Backbiting, name-calling, and passing jokes at one target’s expense is a daily affair in women-dominated groups. If you haven’t faced any of this, well then, you were just fortunate enough.
They Can Be Too Narrow-Minded
Women can sometimes shrink their vision so small that they fail to see the bigger picture in life. I understand that family, household, and children should be on one’s priority list however, for some women it becomes their only priority in life. And when you meet such a woman at your workplace, then run. Run as fast as you can and never look back. See, I’m not being insensitive towards these important aspects of life. Marriage, kids, and household chores are a part and parcel of everyone’s lives, but your life shouldn’t revolve only around them. And it’s okay to be selfish for your own growth and maintain some good social distance from such women. As Steve Harvey says, “You can’t tell big dreams to small-minded people.” They just won’t understand.
They Can Be Overly Jealous
Jealousy is another factor that pops up amongst women a lot. Women can be really envious of their counterparts at their workplace. I remember one female colleague who would comment on my dress and wear a similar dress the next day. Competition indeed persists in male workgroups too. However, that’s mostly overt. Men publicly challenge each other. Women, on the other hand, are more secretive and covert in terms of competition. As a result, they tend to secretly hate another female co-worker or gossip about her behind her back. Both ways, it’s a form of unhealthy competition that not only affects personal relationships but also hampers professional growth.
Because looks and appearance are so important to women, they may even get envious of something as insignificant as a pair of earrings!
They Can Be Highly Insecure
Insecurity is very common in the workplace. We can often find colleagues who lack confidence in their work. Insecurity is a part of life. We can have self-doubt in any walk of life. However, I have met quite a few insecure women at my workplace. I remember having a general conversation with my coworker once when a female colleague just entered the room and accused me of backbiting about her. No matter how much I tried to convince her, she denied believing in me. This was a usual scenario at my workplace. Few of my female teammates were so insecure, that they thought that the others were constantly discussing them behind their back.
All women coworkers aren’t the same, I have had the privilege to work with some amazing women too!
Alas, those were very few. The majority that I met were as per my above experiences.
These were my personal stories and others may beg to differ from me. But, my experiences have not led me to believe that strong, powerful, uplifting women coworkers do not exist.
So, the next time you too find a confident, positive, secure, and cool-minded woman colleague, thank your stars! You will find very few of those. And if possible, become one too.
